Longfield’s Sarah Davison hears how friendships have bloomed in the hospice garden.
It’s a crisp, clear morning in Minchinhampton and glimmers of sunlight filter through the trees. A group of friends – strangers just six weeks ago – gather in the grounds of Longfield Hospice. They talk animatedly, trowels in hand, ready to tend our kitchen garden: a once empty patch of earth, now bursting with colour and life.
“Your group has transformed this garden,” I say to Maddie. She laughs. “Before Longfield, the most I knew about gardening was sticking a houseplant in a pot!”
Maddie is a member of our gardening group. She came to Longfield at her lowest, the year after her husband’s death, and started counselling sessions with us. “I left feeling less consumed with grief and more ready to get on with life,” she says. For Maddie, the group has been a wonderful way to create new friendships. “We work side-by-side, planting, potting, pruning. We talk about everything, not just caring, not just grief.” Another gardener, John, joins the conversation. “The magic ingredient in this group is that people accept each other entirely – whatever their life looks like right now,” he says. “That’s a rare and wonderful thing.”
John spent seven years caring for his wife before she died in 2023 “You can get a little cutoff when you’ve been caring for someone you love,” he says. “You need motivation to come out of the house. I look forward to coming here – it’s a high point of my week.”
Debbie cares for her husband and mother. The responsibility weighs heavily and she struggles to switch off. She describes Longfield as her ‘lifeline’, “I feel like a battery that’s being re-charged when I’m here,” she says. “It’s where I find myself.”
It is, perhaps, Peter who has changed most since joining the group. Peter’s wife had a protracted illness and Peter fought to keep her at home, where he could look after her, instead of a care home. “Caring for my wife was an act of love. It was also soul-destroying at times,” he says. “Seeing her suffer and not being able to change that…” he struggles to finish the sentence, overcome with emotion. Maddie places a gentle hand on Peter’s shoulder. “The difference in everyone since joining this group is profound,” she says. “When Peter first came he was quiet. Now he’s joined a choir, he’s joined a bowls club, and we can’t stop him chatting!” Peter chuckles. “It’s true! This group has allowed me to be who I am, without worrying what others think of me. Turns out I’m a bit of a joker!” The others nod and laugh in agreement. “You can’t help but smile when Pete’s around,” says Maddie.
John has a message. “If you’re reading this and you relate to our situations, Longfield might be perfect for you,” he says. “There are lots of friendly groups and sessions on offer. If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. You can just listen and join in with the laughter – and there’s a lot of laughter!”
